Finding Out
by ggaboundhere
Summary: The sequel to "Out of the Closet", Matt finds out about Simon's secret. Can Simon survive?


It had started out as a typical Friday afternoon. Eric was at work on his sermon, Annie grocery shopping, Mary and Lucy boy-hunting, Matt and Robbie at their jobs, and Ruthie was snooping around the house. Simon was in his bedroom with Morris, sitting on his bed together.  
  
Simon and Morris had been together for a month now, and though they still were shocked by their unexpected feelings for each other, they were beginning to feel very comfortable with their relationship. They had fallen deeply in love. But they were the only ones who knew about that love, and there was always that deep underlying fear of getting caught that kept them from getting as close as they wanted to.  
  
But now they were content to be sitting on Simon's bed together, idly chatting and making jokes. Morris was the older, protective one, louder and making Simon laugh. Simon was younger, more naive, and more pensive. They made a good team, comical Morris and deeper-thinking Simon.  
  
Morris touched Simon's hand, and they began kissing, the action that had felt so alien a month ago, but now normal and trickling with desire. They fell into each other's arms, bodies touching, tasting each other's sweat and the smooth ecstasy of their skin. This was better than anything Simon had ever experienced, and he didn't care anymore if it was wrong. It felt right to him, and that was all that mattered.  
  
They became so involved with each other they ceased to notice anything else. They didn't notice the sound of Matt's car pulling into the garage, or his footsteps ascending the stairs. They didn't notice Matt's breathing outside the door.  
  
But they did notice when suddenly, the door opened. Matt's face was twisted in shock at the sight of his younger brother in the arms of a man. Simon and Morris' faces looked up at him, wild-eyed with fear and shock. They quickly untangled themselves from each other, not meeting Matt's eyes.  
  
Morris stood up and stammered, Uhh, bye Simon, I-I'll see you later, I guess and quickly ran out of the room.  
  
Matt didn't speak for a moment, collecting himself. When he was ready, he said to Simon, in a carefully controlled voice, Simon, what were you doing with him? Simon tried to speak. Oh, I know what you were doing, Matt continued, And I'll let you know I totally do not approve of that kind of behavior at all! I cannot believe my own brotherSimon, I thought you knew better. But I guess I overestimated you. Matt's anger was replaced by disappointment for a moment, but when he looked back up, his face was again filled with rage. Well, I only see one solution to this problem. I am going to tell Dad, and you are NEVER to see Morris again!  
  
Matt started to march out the door, but Simon, having regained his speech, rushed after him. No, Matt, you can't! Please don't tell Dad! Please! I'm asking you as your brother.  
  
Matt looked down at Simon. But Simon, how can you justify this kind of behavior? It's sickand sinfulyou know that!  
  
Simon said softly, Matt, when I first felt attracted to Morris, I felt so guilty, so dirty and ashamed. But, I've learned that I can't help the way I feel. You can't change how you feel, Matt, or who you love. Please.  
  
Matt looked hesitant for a fleeting second, but his expression quickly changed back to the one of judgment and contempt. No, Simon, you made that choice. People aren't born like that. You can help it. And that's why I'm telling Dad, so he can fix you.  
  
Simon, realizing he could never make Matt understand, tried desperation. Come on, Matt, don't! I'll pay you fifty dollars!   
  
Matt shook his head. Simon, no  
  
Simon was desperate. After a look of hesitation, Matt accepted. Okay, okaybut I still don't approve of your behavior at all.  
  
Simon sighed with relief. Thanks, Matt. Simon was still suspicious Matt would tell, but he was holding out hope Matt wouldn't.  
  
Matt nodded, then left the room. Simon sat down on his bed, contemplating what had just happened. Suddenly, he had a weird feeling he was being watched. He looked around his room, and when his eyes came to his door, he saw two dark eyes staring back. He jumped.   
  
She came in, a bratty look on her face. Simon asked worriedly, Ruthie, please tell me you didn't just hear that.  
  
She laughed. I did hear it! And I saw it too. You and Morris she got a disgusted look on her face.  
  
You're not gonna tell, are you? Simon asked desperately.  
  
she said slyly, I should tell Dad, because this IS wrong, what you're doingbut if you pay me, I may change my mind.  
  
Simon said eagerly, handing over a twenty. Is that enough?  
  
One more, she said. Simon groaned, but handed over another twenty. There. Now you won't tell?  
  
Yeah, she said.   
  
Simon said, still suspicious.  
  
  
That night's dinner was full of tension. Simon kept on looking over at Matt and Ruthie, fearing they would say something. But they said nothing, looking down at their meager helpings of chicken instead. Simon's parents looked suspicious that something was up, but said nothing. Simon ate quickly, retreating to his room after he had finished.  
  
When he got to his room, he dialed Morris' number. Morris' first question was, Did your parents find out?  
  
Simon said, I paid them off, Matt and Ruthie, who saw too. I dunno how long it'll last, though.  
  
Well, that's good for now, I guess. But Simonyou know they'll have to find out eventually.  
  
I knowbut they can't find out! They'll hate us! Who knows what they'll do? Prolly tear us apartMorris, aren't you scared?  
  
I am scared, Simon. Terrified. I don't exactly have agay reputation, ya know? But we might as well get it out there. People are gonna find out sooner or laterand we gotta make em accept us. It's the only way to really feel comfortable with ourselves.  
  
Ok, ok, Simon said. But not yet, ok? Eventually.  
  
Morris agreed. Why don't we have lunch together tomorrow? Talk about things, try to get our minds off this. How bout Pete's Pizza at twelve?  
  
Simon said, feeling better already.  
  
  
Their lunch together made Simon feel a lot better. Morris had made him laugh, made him happySimon even had hope that somehow things would work out. But when he came home, Morris dropping him off after a passionate kiss, he felt strangely different.  
  
When he entered the house, Simon noticed that it was strangely quiet. The air felt thick with tension. His heart pounding and his stomach twisting, Simon cautiously walked to the kitchen.  
  
There was his father, sitting at the table with Matt and Ruthie. When the Reverend looked up, his blue eyes were icy with rage. Simon felt as if he would throw up. Matt and Ruthie had told. How could they do this to their brother? Simon didn't say anything, just stood and stared uneasily at his father.  
  
The Reverend stood up and cleared his throat. Simon, Matt and Ruthie told me some ratherdisturbing information about you.  
  
Simon tried to laugh, but all that came out of his throat was a squeaky croak. Like what, Dad?  
  
The Reverend said solemnly, I think you know what I'm talking about, Simon. He took a deep breath, as if composing himself. Matt and Ruthie told methey told me they found you and Morris engaging in, um, sexual relations. Simon, is this true?  
  
Simon looked down, face pale. Morris had pointed out that they needed to come out eventually, but nothis was too soon. He could already see how angry his father was. But he didn't want to anger him farther by lying, so he said softly, Yeah, Dad, it's true.  
  
This was enough to make the Reverend explode. Simon, how could you do this?! You know thatthat homosexuality is wrong! I've taught you that, and I thought you understood. But now you betray your family like this, by choosing to be gay?! Simon, how could you?  
  
Dad, I didn't CHOOSE to be like this. I justfelt it. I thought it was wrong toobut now I don't know! I can't help the way I feel! Can't you understand that?  
  
Simon, you can help THAT kind of feel, that's what I understand. This behavior is shameful to the whole family! Simon, if you continue, you're goinggoing to hell!  
  
Simon was stricken. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe his own father had said that to him. He looked desperately to Matt and Ruthie for help, but they were sitting quietly, looking down at the table.   
  
Dad, how could you SAY that? To your own son? I'm gonna stay with Morris, and if you think I'm going to hell, then oh well!  
  
Simon, I thought you were a Christian. But acting like thisI don't know anymore.  
  
Well, me neither, Dad. If what I'm doing is wrong by Christianity's standards, then maybe I don't believe in it anymore. But I'm not gonna stop beinggay. I've realized that it's who I am, and I can't change that. It was the first time Simon had ever called himself gay out loud, and it felt strangely powerful.  
  
The Reverend was raging now. Simon, if you're not gonna be a Christian because of this, then I forbid you to see Morris!  
  
No, Dad, no, please  
  
The Reverend stood firm. You are grounded. You are never to see or talk to him ever again, or else you will be very severely punished. I mean it this time.  
  
Dad, you can't do thisyou don't understand  
  
But his father stood there staring coldly at Simon, and melting under his stare, Simon retreated silently and hopelessly to his bedroom, his heart broken.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
